In today’s topic, we are talking about how to take control away from a narcissist, and ways the victims of narcissistic abuse can take their power back from the narcissist because control is the overall objective of any narcissist. They want complete control over their victims, so it can be quite empowering for victims to have some strategies or techniques that will help them not allow the narcissist to exert control over them.
So today, I’m going to give you my top 9 ways to take control back from the narcissist.
How to take control away from a narcissist?
1. Control Your Emotions.
And one of the very best ways you can do this is by controlling your emotions. Learn how to respond to the narcissist, not react. You must remember, your reaction, your emotions, your hurt, and your frustration is premium narcissistic supply, and it’s all about supply at the end of the day.
So if you can learn to be and remain in control of your emotions when dealing with the narcissist in your life, you will be depleting them of the narcissistic supply that they are dependent on receiving. Not to mention, if they know that they can do something to get a rise out of you, to get an emotional reaction out of you, then they are going to keep on doing it indefinitely, which is the very last thing we want. So tip number one, control your emotions when dealing with the narcissist. Keep your cool, and learn how to respond not react to their shenanigans.
2. Do Not Feed Their Ego.
Narcissists are famous for baiting and fishing for compliments and ego praise. Again, this is a narcissistic supply that they’re desperate for. If you ignore their attempts to extract ego-stroking from you and refuse to engage in any form of catering to their ego, you will be depriving them of the attention, of your supply, and in doing this, you will indeed be taking control away from the narcissist.
3. Stay Grounded In The Reality That You Know Is True.
Do not give in to their gaslighting. This is a very powerful tool that victims have at their disposal. Narcissists are constantly trying to gaslight victims and manipulate reality, or just flat-out rewrite history. Don’t let them do it. Stay grounded in the reality that you know is true. And when they try and force another version of reality onto you, disengage. Don’t fight with the narcissist because again, that will be a narcissistic supply.
Explain to the narcissists in a calm voice that you are very aware of what is factual and reality-based, and reject the nonsense they are trying to push onto you. Don’t argue with them, that’s just a complete and utter waste of time. Simply state what the truth is, and disengage, walk away. In doing so, you are taking control away from the narcissist.
4. Don’t Sink To Their Level.
This is sometimes easier said than done, especially considering how effective narcissists are at getting under our skin. However, that is exactly what the narcissist is hoping you will do so that they can flip the script and blame your reaction and your behavior as the sole aggressor. Remember, the narcissist is hoping to drag you into the fight so that they can gaslight you and everyone else into thinking that they are somehow the victim of your reaction. Keep control of your power by not sinking to their level.
5. Establish Honor And Enforce Boundaries.
This is probably one of the very best ways to take control away from a narcissist because I’m not sure there is anything that they hate worse than boundaries. Not allowing them to blow through your boundaries is offensive. It’s irritating and incredibly frustrating to narcissists.
Not to mention, overpowering your boundaries is a game to the narcissist, and they typically think they are so charming and clever that you won’t be able to maintain your boundaries once you have established them. So you must enforce them in order for this to work. However, by doing so, you steal back your power, your control, and your dignity.
6. Don’t Try To Change Them.
Accept that you cannot change them and give up completely on trying to do so. Narcissists do not change, unfortunately. And that is a bitter pill for many people to swallow, who happen to love or care about a narcissist. However, every time you try to appeal to their good side and influence them to do the right thing, you are going to lose. And in doing so, you give away so much of your power and control.
Remember, narcissists, gain tremendous amounts of fuel and supply from seeing you beg and plead for something from them. They enjoy watching you struggle, just so that they can deny you of the one thing that you’re asking for. So by just accepting them for the way they are, that they aren’t ever going to change, by giving up on that unattainable dream, you will be taking back a considerable amount of control and power.
7. Don’t Wait For An Apology From Them.
Give up on the need or the desire for an apology because you’re not going to get one. And sometimes a victim can get caught up in wanting their very well-deserved apology from the narcissist. However, no one knows this more than the narcissist, and they get enjoyment and narcissistic supply from refusing to accept accountability and apologize to you.
Also, sometimes a victim may want the narcissist to apologize so that they know it is actually the narcissist’s fault because they have been subjected to so much gaslighting and psychological manipulation tactics. But the truth is, the narcissist isn’t ever going to validate any reality that holds them accountable for their horrendous behavior. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you must learn to validate the truth yourself. Stay grounded in the reality you know is true, but do not expect an apology. You’re only going to become frustrated and disappointed.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
8. Utilize The Gray Rock Method.
Always remember, the name of the game is for the narcissist to gain control over you and extract your narcissistic supply. Utilizing the grain the gray rock method deprives them of both and is very effective. It’s a very effective way for you to take your power away from the narcissist.
9. No Contact.
No contact is always the very best way anyone can take their control and power back from the narcissist. I realize some of you out there can go full no contact because you share children with one. However, to those of you who can, this is the ultimate and foolproof way to take your power back from the narcissist.
Ok, that’s it for today’s topic, how to take control away from a narcissist. I hope you all found this helpful, if you did, be sure to share this article with your friends and family, sharing is caring!
Sharing Is Caring!