What happens when the narcissist loses control? What do narcissists typically do when their tactics stop working? When you’ve got them where you want them when they’ve been exposed. When a narcissist loses control over a loved one, what happens? This is what we are going to discuss in today’s article. Let’s get started!
1. Vindictiveness.
When a narcissist loses control over a loved one, or their secrets are revealed, it can lead to a variety of negative behaviors. One of the most common reactions is vindictiveness. Narcissists tend to hold grudges and seek revenge when they feel hurt or disrespected. They may lash out in anger and try to hurt the person who they feel has wronged them. This can include spreading rumors, trying to ruin your reputation, or even resorting to physical violence.
2. Manipulation and coercion.
Another common reaction is manipulation and coercion. Narcissists often use manipulation tactics to try to regain control over the situation. They may use guilt-tripping, bullying, or emotional blackmail to make the other person feel guilty or responsible for the narcissist’s feelings. They may also try to coerce the other person into doing what they want by threatening to harm themselves or others.
Narcissists have a huge sense of entitlement. They often feel that they deserve special treatment and that they are entitled to whatever they want. They may become demanding and entitled, expecting others to cater to their every need and whim. Remember that these behaviors are not limited to those who suffer from pathological narcissism. We all can fall victim to these types of behaviors from time to time.
These behaviors of narcissists are chronic and almost never change. Inside the Minds of narcissists, thoughts of envy and guilt fill Their Heads. The oddest part is that they frequently engage in disgusting behavior in an effort to hide their shame. Those who treat others poorly, by devaluing, rejecting, punishing, cheating, scorning, etc., are the ones who eventually find themselves alone.
This means that when they lose control of someone, they usually respond in one of a few standard ways. They might even make amends with you in person, but perhaps not for the damage they’ve done. The majority of victims blame themselves for their plight, feeling awful about being left behind and vulnerable around others.
3. Preface the apology with an explanation.
Another option is to preface the apology with an explanation, such as: “It’s not me, it’s my nervousness.” They might say: “I can’t help the fact that I’m sick, my dependency on this substance prevents me from controlling my behavior. I’m sorry, but you did say something 10 years ago that I found fairly upsetting, so please accept my apologies.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s been a minute, a day, or a week; most apologies lose their impact and are forgotten. Most of the time, people simply go back to their old ways of behaving. Instead, of apologizing, they might appear to be trying to reason with you adopting the gray rock approach in which they respond to all questions with a single sentence, or the no contact approach, in which they simply stop responding.
One typical method of apologizing for previous misdeeds and reassuring the recipient of their unending love is to send a text or email along the lines of: “I’ve no idea what I’ve done to hurt you, but I’ll Always Love You.” When that happens, you may expect to hear a lot of incoherent Babel followed by A Veiled Threat along the lines of: “And I’m going to let other people know what you’re like.”
A Book: Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men.
It’s important to consider the past when considering giving them another chance. How many times have they said they’re sorry already? The number probably wasn’t high, but how many were there? After the apologies were made, did the bad behavior stop? Since it hasn’t been any different in the past, what makes you think it will be this time?
The second concern is that when narcissists are caught in a falsehood, they almost never admit they are sorry. If they can’t or won’t accept their own shortcomings, misjudgments, mistakes, or limits, even to themselves, they won’t admit their harmful Behavior to you or anyone else. Instead, they will make a greater number of baseless accusations. They will change their previous statements in conduct, exaggerating their accomplishments and downplaying their failures by creating other histories. They will misinterpret your intentions despite your use of the word “deliberately.”
If you’ve been with this person for a while, they’ve probably gotten really good at manipulating and gaslighting you, which would make you question your own sanity if it seems that other people believe them too. To the outside Observer, covert narcissists may appear to be humble and remorseful, yet on the inside, they may feel superior to others.
4. Contacting People who are close to you.
If they haven’t already done so after a breakup, they may contact your friends, relatives, and co-workers to express their genuine care for them. They may say things like: “It is of the highest importance to me that this person is safe,” or “It’s been a while since I last heard from him, my biggest worry is that they may discover a newfound love for it.” Eventually, they’ll start showing up, signing up for the squad, and soon be hanging out with all of your mates.
In certain cases, they may even make direct contact with you and your loved ones by sending greeting cards, making house calls, or extending invitations to dinner, all with the goal of showing that, despite your initial Impressions, they are decent individuals who deserve your respect. This manipulation tactic is known as enlisting “flying monkeys” or trusted Associates, from the victim’s Inner Circle as agents.
Its primary function is to intimidate the target into complying, allowing the sufferer to remain in a situation where their safety is compromised. It’s a coping mechanism that helps the sufferer control how they and others see the situation. Narcissism is inherently destructive, eating away at something from the inside out and then trying to destroy it from the outside if that doesn’t work.
5. Emotional blackmail.
In most cases, narcissists resort to emotional blackmail in an effort to make their victims take responsibility for their own bad actions. A narcissist who has just endured the loss of a close relationship or friendship may try to manipulate their victim into feeling sorry for them by using their pain and shame. Well, that takes some major fortitude. The victim will plead, cry, beg, whine, and get angry until the offender understands how they feel and apologizes. Commonly, I use the term “they wet the bed and blamed the blanket” to describe similar events.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
6. They frequently display spiteful and nasty Behavior.
To see right through them like that is quite impolite and you have the nerve to want to stop putting up with their nonsense. Remember that narcissists believe that their victims deserve the worst treatment possible because of their lack of deservingness. Some persons have a tendency to act violently or destructively. They may engage in malicious gossip. It is possible that they are knowingly suppressing information, resources, and assistance that they believe would restore a feeling of superiority and control over their victims, as if they have some sort of moral obligation to set an example for their unfortunate targets.
7. They may try to develop a trauma Bond if they are unable to continue deceiving, controlling, or threatening.
To the victim, it may seem that the narcissist’s pattern of toxic conduct has become so routine that it is no longer harmful. To an outsider looking in, the abused person may appear to be totally reliant on the narcissist for their emotional stability; maybe they need the money from them badly. They probably see each other frequently because they share a child. Maybe they’re too dependent on their abuser to ever be able to break free
There could be a physical issue, like a health concern. If there is no pre-existing Bond, they may make an effort to create one, particularly if the traumatic event that gave rise to it was sudden and shocking. If such were the case, they would do all in their power to fortify it, utilizing any and all means at their disposal to make it extremely difficult for the victim to take any initiative or Escape. The aforementioned behaviors and personality traits may be displayed by a narcissist who feels they are losing control over someone.
Read More: When You Ignore A Narcissist, THIS Will Happen.
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