Today’s topic is a bit of a sensitive one, as I will attempt to share some tips as to how to break free from a Narcissist. Some people are managing to survive within their Narcissistic Relationships, so do not want to move on from what they have for whatever reason.
Some may have decided to stay for the sake of children, financial security, etc. I am not here to judge anyone. Everyone knows how much they can bear and we need to remember that Narcissism is on a scale. There are the benign Narcissists who are lousy liars and manipulators. There are the malignant Narcissists and then all those others in between.
Yes, all Narcissists are toxic and bad news, but some people are able to set their emotions aside and are able to manage these types of Narcissistic Relationships because, for them, it is just more logical to stay. They see the Narcissist exactly for who and what they are. They know the Narcissist cannot love them, so it’s more of a formal, loveless arrangement. There are an endless variety of reasons and personalities out there.
So, today’s article is mainly for those who have had enough, want to leave but don’t know how to.
One thing that is evident is that Narcissists are becoming immensely difficult to avoid as they are everywhere. They are not just your family or friends. They are in the church, in your workplace, schools, and in every organization, government, and the group that you can think of.
But because we cannot fully avoid them altogether, it doesn’t mean that we should entertain them or put up with them. And we definitely cannot be dealing with them like we would once we know who they are, as Narcissists look for every opportunity to manipulate and deceive. And believe me, it is easy to get caught up again, thinking they are not as bad, especially if they are funny and sociable. They can easily get you pulled back into talking and laughing with them.
Then, before you know it, you are hanging out with them. Because they are talking in a way that is pleasing to your ears or doing things to make you smile, and before you know it, you are once again caught up into their charm.
That is why it is very important to remain consistent with Narcissists, you give them a yard, they will go a mile. So, no matter how friendly or sorrowful they appear, you need to keep them at a comfortable distance. For those who have discovered that they are entangled with a Narcissist and want to get out but don’t know the best way how to go about it. I have a few steps as to how to proceed in order to break free of the Narcissist.
Of course, everyone’s situation is different, and when children are involved, it complicates things further. So, these are just some general tips that may need to be amended here and there to suit your situation.
Below are the top 6 tips To Do When Preparing To Leave The Narcissist!
1. Limit communication.
When you know you are dealing with a Narcissist, you have to realize you cannot trust them or confide in them any longer. Tell them things that you wouldn’t mind anyone knowing- things that are inconsequential, but definitely nothing about your plans to leave.
Because if the Narcissist doesn’t want you to go, they will start love-bombing you to remind you of why you fell in love with them in the first place to try and keep you trapped.
Communicating with a Narcissist is always risky business, you must be prepared and know how to and that is why my second tip would be to turn off your emotional tap so that you no longer off any source of Narcissistic Supply.
2. Turn off your emotional tap.
Narcissists manipulate our emotions. You cannot communicate with them and be emotionally invested at the same time.
3. Identify & separate from those who are too close to the narcissist.
The third tip would be to start cutting connections with anyone who is close to the Narcissist, as the Narcissist’s friends are not your friends. People who are chummy with the Narcissist are likely to side with the Narcissist and you can be sure that the Narcissist has already slandered you to them.
So, they have a tainted view of who you really are. They will not support you when you break free from the Narcissist. They are likely to be the flying monkeys who will aid the Narcissist in smearing you and even stalking you.
Recommended: Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse.
4. Get solid proof of the narcissist’s abuse behavior or any other corrupt dealings.
The fourth tip I would give to anyone thinking about leaving a Narcissist is to secure any hard evidence you can of the Narcissist’s true nature or any shady dealing they may be up to when no one is watching.
Especially if you are looking to divorce a Narcissist, this is very important to help with any custody battles, etc. You need hard proof to take to the courts as the Narcissist will be working hard to discredit you.
5. Seek financial freedom away from the narcissist.
The fifth tip would be especially for those who are financially dependent on a Narcissist. You will need to start looking for an alternative means of income and even start cutting back so that you can start saving money for your future move. This money needs to be kept in a place where the Narcissist will not be able to access it.
Also, if the Narcissist gives you a certain amount, save as much of that as you can. Finances are another major way that Narcissists use to keep us dependent on them and bound to them. Therefore, finding financial freedom outside of the Narcissist is crucial.
6. Do not seek closure.
The final tip I have to give would be to Not Seek Closure. There is no point telling them that they are a Narcissist. There is no point in seeking clarification or understanding about why they did or said certain things. There is no point in looking for an apology.
Any communication with a Narcissist is just an opportunity for them to manipulate you. They would shift the blame on you or try and guilt-trip you. They can also put on the most exquisite display of pretending to be remorseful and promising change just to get you to stay. Any attempt at closure will turn into an emotional assault.
So, when you make up your mind to leave the Narcissist, you just need to go and not look to try and talk things out or try to convince them about why you are doing what you are doing. And if you are looking to go full no contact, just make sure you do not leave any clues behind as to where you are going to or confide in anyone that is chummy with the Narcissist. When the time comes to leave, you can let them know, but not before everything is in place.
Also, if you just want to leave them a note or a voice message to let them know you are out and that your lawyers will be in touch, do that. Everyone has to do what they think is comfortable or within their nature to do.
- Another bonus tip would be to seek professional, legal advice if you are looking to divorce the Narcissist or have shared assets.
There are people who give legal advice on how to divorce a Narcissist, so you will not be alone in this. Also, be sure to not enter into any legal agreements or contracts with the Narcissist while you are planning your exit without seeking legal advice. Narcissists can be ruthless, they play dirty and they will do and say whatever they can to discredit you, so you have to be prepared.
But to conclude, these are just some general steps that I think should be taken when looking to separate yourself from a Narcissist. For some people, it will be easier to do than others and for some, the timing will be shorter than others. You cannot compare your situation to someone else’s.
Read More: 15 Gaslighting Phrases Manipulators Use.
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